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  • Children of Perfection and Achievement Focused Parents

    Have you ever felt like your best wasn’t enough? 

    Sometimes it can feel like you put everything into doing things “right” or “being perfect” only to realize that the mark keeps moving and there can always be more to accomplish or achieve.

    Oftentimes, supportive parents who tend to be focused on achievement or perfectionism want what is best for you, but in reality they end up being fairly emotionally neglectful. 

    We see this in professional athletes, musicians, and people who function as over-achievers. An achievement/perfectionistic parent can appear very driven to support their child. However, the difference between a non-neglectful parent parent and a neglectful one is supporting a child in what the child wants to achieve versus pressuring the child to achieve what they want.

    These types of parents can look very similar to Narcissistic parents, but do have differences. Some achievement focused parents want opportunities for their children that they did not have while others are are acting out of their own feeling to be perfect. Many are trying to live their own life through their child or are simply raising their child in the way that they were raised.

    Breaking free of these longstanding patterns and expectations from parents and, now ourselves, can be tricky and difficult, but knowing what you want, feel, and value is worth it!