Counseling for Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
Do you have Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)?
CEN is often subtle, invisible, and unmemorable. It is the factor from childhood that people can’t see or remember. It is a parent’s failure to respond enough to a child’s emotional needs.
Ask yourself these questions to see if you may have CEN:
- Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends?
- Pride yourself on not relying upon others?
- Have difficulty asking for help?
- Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant?
- Feel you have not met your potential in life?
- Often just want to be left alone?
- Secretly feel that you may be a fraud?
- Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations?
- Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself?
- Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others?
- Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking?
- Find it easier to love animals than people?
- Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason?
- Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling?
- Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses?
- Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in?
- Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit?
- Have trouble calming yourself?
- Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment?
- At times feel empty inside?
- Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you?
- Struggle with self-discipline?
Why It Is Important To Recover From CEN
The way you are treated emotionally by your parents determines how you will treat yourself as an adult.
Emotion is an undeniable part of your biology. If you ignore your emotions, you will feel ignored on some level, no matter how much care you give yourself in other ways.
Emotion is the substance of all relationships. If you are not attending to your emotions, you are by-passing a vital source of connection and joy.
Emotional Intelligence has been proven to be more valuable to success in life and work than general intelligence. It is vital that you know how to name, use and manage emotion, as well as how to deal with it in others.
People who received emotional validation from their parents in childhood are generally able to provide it automatically to their own children. People who didn’t receive it enough themselves will likely struggle to provide it as parents. It is vital to recognize what you didn’t get yourself so that you can make a conscious effort to learn the missing skills, fill your blind spots, and give your children what you didn’t get.
I am here to provide a safe, accepting, and non-judgmental space for you to explore the answers to these difficult questions. And once you find the answers that are right for you, to support you in living those answers out in the world. If living those answers involves change, then my role involves supporting you in making the changes that you seek.
CEN and the information above has come to light due to the work of Dr. Jonice Webb. If you are interested in learning more about CEN, I recommend her book, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect as well as visiting her website Childhood Emotional Neglect.