Together Yet Separate

Inspiration can come from so many different sources. Often our work is inspired by our needs, desires, hopes, and dreams. The work of building a connection is something that is so important to me that it truly presents a raw experience. Have you ever had that feeling?

The pain of not having a connection is difficult, but also in having a relationship, being connected, knowing that it can go deeper – but there are roadblocks – can be even more challenging. It is in the potential of what could be where our greatest hopes are and it is there where our deepest fears also reside.

I was inspired by this quote from Esther Perel,

“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.”

It’s striking how we long for shared meaning and connection with our significant others, but yet we must honor and give space for ourselves and for our partner’s self. Being connected and sharing love is a wonderful gift we can give one another, yet what would it be without the contrast of being alone?

In all things, we strive to seek a balance between a healthy amount of togetherness while also taking care of ourselves and our own needs. It is a reminder that if the need of being connected is painful, then what are we missing within ourselves that creates such a longing? The journey of self-discovery is never-ending. What about the relationship and connection with our own self? Are we spending enough time considering what is unsettled?

Perhaps wounds from our younger years are resurfacing in our current relationships. Many times we seek to heal childhood scars as adults. At other times we may re-create similar scenarios in the present that remind of us childhood because we are still so entrenched in the unhealthy relationship patterns that we grew up experiencing.

If you are seeking healthy relationships or even a healthy relationship with yourself, considering these thoughts and questions may be beneficial. If you’d like to go further, please contact me to begin your journey towards balance and wholeness.